A Thanksgiving Reflection
Two days before Thanksgiving in 2008, I lost my father suddenly. He was here one day and gone the next, right on the eve of a holiday about gratitude and family. It’s hard to describe what that kind of loss feels like, especially at a time when everyone else is celebrating. Even now, 17 years later, the pain never fully goes away. Thanksgiving has never been the same for me since then – it’s a bittersweet mix of warmth and an ache of absence. I miss him every day, and I’d give anything for one more hug or one more conversation.
I know that many people have complex relationships with their fathers. Not every father-child relationship fits the Hallmark card image – there can be misunderstandings, distance, or old wounds. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize a universal truth about dads: all fathers ultimately want their children to be stronger than they are—or were. My own father, an Egyptian immigrant who built a life from nothing, always pushed me to be better. He wanted me to learn from his mistakes, to exceed his accomplishments, and to stand on my own two feet with even more strength than he had. Even if your father didn’t always show it in words or hugs, I truly believe that deep down every dad hopes to see their child grow into someone stronger, wiser, and better than himself.
If you’re fortunate enough to still have your father in your life, I have a heartfelt request: put aside whatever differences you might have, and hug your dad while you still can. Life is too unpredictable, and time has a way of slipping by faster than we think. Whatever conflicts or grudges that may exist, they pale in comparison to the bond you share and the limited time you have together. So this Thanksgiving, or the next chance you get, take a moment to tell your father you appreciate him. Swallow the pride, make that phone call, drive that distance, do what it takes. Because you will never regret giving your dad an extra tight hug or saying “I love you” now – but you might deeply regret it if you wait until it’s too late.
Hold your loved ones close, and give thanks for the time you have with them. I encourage you to treasure your father if you still can, as I continue to honor the memory of mine. Put aside the differences, share a warm embrace, and let gratitude and love fill the space between you.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Michael A. Gayed, CFA