Thanks Dad

For the first time in my career, I had the privilege to ring the NYSE Closing Bell.

My partners and I found out about the opportunity last Friday, and despite the Labor Day Weekend and incredible short notice, over 80 people from around the country joined in the celebration on the Floor.

I've had a mix of emotions in the lead-up to the event. I decided to lock my X account to private, and posted publicly about my feelings. The last number of years did a number on me mentally, on my psychology. I've been to the NYSE many times in my career to celebrate others, but never have I been there for one of my own strategies.

It was a surreal moment to be celebrated like this. I don't feel I deserved the moment. This cycle has been so brutal to me because of the way traditional risk-off has failed for a tactical approach. Managing to prospectus in a cycle that is against you and your opportunity set is absolutely brutal. You wait for the light to change as the meter is running. As you bleed assets. As you bleed your own money. As you bleed confidence in yourself.

It is true that there are no gurus, only cycles. But that isn't consolation when you're alone in the arena fighting. As people boo you and thump their chests over their wins which are more the result of luck than skill. I remember vividly in early 2008, my father who was managing a hedge fund at the time said to me "you will never know how hard this is until you are in my seat."

He was right.

Markets humble us all, just not all at once. Yesterday I was humbled by the incredible love and support by those who can empathize and sympathize. I am nowhere and everywhere. I had people taking pictures with me like I'm some sort of celebrity. I'm just a guy who is trying to make it. Never really thrived for a persistent period of time, just grinding.

All I have to give is sheer grit. Sheer work ethic. I haven't arrived. I'm still struggling.

But I will not relent.

Just like my father didn't until the day he died.

Thanks dad.

Michael A. Gayed, CFA